I want to run around the office screaming

I’m having a hard day.

Well… when I say day, I mean week…

…and when I say week, I mean month…

…actually, 5 months, to be exact. 

And it’s hard for different reasons. My job is one of them. And the office that it is in is another.

A severe lack of social interaction and brain stimulation during the day is steadily, but surely, sending me insane.

I want to cry, scream, jump up and down and throw a tantrum, but alas I cannot…

… it’s not exactly ’office behaviour’.

There must be millions of people like me around the world. Except I’ve only been here 5 months, some people have done it all their lives. I expect some kind of data entry job in a cube farm would be the worst. I would literally want to kill myself after a few days.

I need excitment and activity. I’m usually like one of those hyperactive puppies that bounce off the walls like a crazy thing when they hear “walkies!”. But right now I feel more like a caged bird that’s had it’s little wings clipped so that it can’t get away. I’m dreaming of trees and sunshine but all I’ve got is the miserable hum of machines, the tapping on keyboards and whole heap of time that is ticking away far, far too slowly.

It makes me think of the tv adaptaion of Mansfield Park by Jane Austen, the one with Jonny Lee Miller in it. There’s a scene where Fanny is reading a book alone in the library and she is disturbed by Henry who then takes her book from her and reads it aloud…

“‘I can’t get out! I can’t get out!’, cried the Starling.”

Can’t get out.

Hmmm.

Indeed…