Seeing as this blog is supposed to be full of my general ramblings and goings-on in my life, it’s only right that I post something about the Relay 2 conference.
From 18-23th January I was reunited once again (yay!) with all the other Relay workers for the second of three residential conferences. It was GREAT. Very hard, crammed full of teaching, challenging, tiring, humbling and at times just a little bit silly, but altogether absolutely marvellous and a breath of fresh air.
Each morning was spent studying Isaiah (ch1-6) and by the end of it we were blown away by God’s holiness and our own sinfulness and unworthiness of such great love and mercy. I realised that my view of God wasn’t high enough, and that my view of myself was too high. When Isaiah saw the Lord seated on his throne in the temple in chapter 6, even the seraphim who were worshipping God had their feet and faces covered. Isaiah cried ‘woe is me!’; he was so aware of his sin and how unclean he was when faced with the Almighty God. I don’t think I’d ever really done that before… I mean of course it’s easy to acknowledge that God is a great God and holy, but are we ever struck by how truly amazing it is? I’d never thought of it in comparison with myself. Even my meagre attempts to be ‘good’ still leave me totally dirty and a sinner before God.
I think it’s only when you realise how low you actually are before him that you realise how much you need a saviour.
I’ve always been a ‘nice girl’, but no amount of niceness can take away from the fact that I rejected and continue to sin against a perfect, loving God. And that’s why, even for ‘good’ people, we need Jesus. Only he can be perfect for us, and only he can stand for us and pay for our sin, allowing us to once again step into God’s presence and no longer face condemnation.
I have something more to say about Isaiah chapter 5 as well, but I think I might leave that for another time.
The rest of the time at Relay 2 was spent doing things like looking at world mission, doing crazy karaoke, table tennis championships…
One of the main things I was challenged on was in thinking about the future. Most of it is too deep (and still in my head and therefore incapable of being strung into comprehensible sentences) to write on here, so I wont trouble you with it. It was largely my attitudes that were challenged and I was made to realise that I have many idols about what I think my life should be like (roll on Disney syndrome… nice life, nice house, nice family, lots of cute animals wondering around…). Often I find myself wanting these things more than serving God. In making my life decisions, my comfort cannot be my only consideration, but I must consider in everything how best I can serve God in whatever situation I find myself in! Sounds so simple, but it is in fact a bit of a revelation to me!
